Safety Sensation Gifts

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"I thought she was being shy. It turns out she's a doom-dayer!"

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

A young Don King

You Are Here

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Man using to much bug spray

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

No Immediate Danger

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'Atomic Ski Bum' An extreme skier is showing off!

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"