Safety Seminar Buff Pillows

'By the way, there's a seminar next weekend on how to slide down the pole.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

Mash-Test Dummies.

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Halloween health & safety.

'Nobody turned up to the 'effective communications' seminar...they didn't get our memo.'

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'

"It's the worst case of Sick Building Syndrome I've ever seen!"

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

'Come on, dad...why would anyone follow a witch into a gingerbread house? It clearly wasn't built to code.'

'I'd think twice before picking c-4.'

How you can tell that the environmentalists won the elections...

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

'Do not be alarmed... this is only a drill!'

The Cone Ranger

The best safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop car in it.

"What do I do when I get to the top?"

"Duck? No I ordered the beef."

'Wow, thanks for finding my skateboard, daddy!'

'Cover me whilst I cross the road...'

Crash Test Dummy Denied Insurance.

Piano Airbag

'Anyone that needs further proof can see Carl after the meeting.'

'For the remainder of this health and safety discussion, I shall refrain from leaning back too far on my chair.'

'We had to install the safety net for insurance purposes.'

'With these new speed signs keeping traffic moving, we're not getting half the litigation work from accidents that we did before.'