Safety Seminar Survivor Pillows

'For the remainder of this health and safety discussion, I shall refrain from leaning back too far on my chair.'

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Barbeque Casualty.

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'And in conclusion.'

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

The Collective Unconscious

'Notice how I stare at the forms like I'm actually reading them... and generally moving very slowly so I'm a little further behind schedule as the day progresses.'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Sling

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

A teacher walks into a classroom full of chatting students; once he starts to talk the students fall asleep.

'...in conclusion, we're in the wrong meeting room.'

'Are you nodding in agreement, or falling asleep?'

'I know that I told you not to hog the crown of the road, but this is ridiculous!'

'Anyone that needs further proof can see Carl after the meeting.'

'Actually, you're my second patient if you count that cadaver in med school.'

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

'He earned his way through medical school working in a pizzeria!'

"First, I want to give you an overview of what I will tell you over and over again during the entire presentation."

'Today, gentlemen, we will discuss the clostridial diseases.'

'Do you remember when all we had to worry about was the menu?'

Safe Space?/Unsafe Space?

"Attending a leadership seminar does not make you the boss of me!"

Too soon?

"Management seminar is really just a fancy name for shenanigans, tomfoolery and general silliness."