Safety Technology Buff Pillows

"Back in the day, I did that for a living. . ."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

On the brink.

Baby on board.

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Caution signs.

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'