Safety Buff Pillows

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

'That's better. Now you can go back to work.'

'Man, it's dark down here. Joey, strike a match so we can find that leaky gas line.'

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'

'We had to install the safety net for insurance purposes.'

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'You want to take it easy with those Jeff, I did my thorax in last week.'

'Railtracks new safety measures are in place'

'Do not be alarmed... this is only a drill!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer with an airbag

"Duck? No I ordered the beef."

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"Can I claim my lump sum please?"

"Do you really think I care about the collision avoidance package?"

Sign in the window of a car says "Filled with asbestos"

'Playing Stampede with your friends is not a good idea Darling: You can get trampled...'

Relax Frank, it's my day off

'This industry's going to the wall!'

'It says here 70% of accidents happen at home. I guess we'd better spend the night at school.'

'I'm not taking any chances, boss.'

You're letting this security thing go to your head.

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'I was caught on CCTV.'

High security Santa's grotto

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Aggression/Security

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."