Safety Prepper Pillows

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

S.O.S. vaccine

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Holiday Gifts 2020

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

Disasters

Emergency Underpants

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Trick or Treatment.

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

Fire Assembly Point

D.I.Y ladder

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

Safe harbour

In case of fire call yourself.

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

Hazmat suit

'I'm taking no chances.'

Sourdough starter. Mask-making supplies. Everything else

Chicken Noodle sold out.

Helicopter Rescues.

'It's the plumber ... '