Prepper Pro Pillows

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

Prepper Dog

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

Disasters

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

"I felt like 'data analyst' sounded better than 'good guesser'."

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

'University of Xylongatnyefxodyl - never heard of it!'

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

Fire Assembly Point

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

"I'm sorry, I always fall to pieces at interviews."

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

'You don't have much of a work history, do you, Mr. Laren?'

". . .And are you a good listener?"

"So, let me get this right. All the job involves is running around a track as fast as I can?"

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

"You say your biggest faults are working too hard and blind loyalty to your employer. What do you take me for… An idiot?"

Safe harbour

In case of fire call yourself.

'It's the plumber ... '

'Lower.No,lower. A way lower. - Under the arms.Under the arms! Around his chest! OK listen...- Do you want to learn the Heimlich manoeuvre or not?!!!'

'I see by your resume that you're full of it.'

'I want to be ready when the sea level rises!'

"Being unable to clearly articulate responses to questions, is a common interview mistake. . ."