Prepper Pro Mugs

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Prepper Dog

'Relax. This is only a test.'

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

Disasters

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

"I felt like 'data analyst' sounded better than 'good guesser'."

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

'University of Xylongatnyefxodyl - never heard of it!'

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

Fire Assembly Point

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

"I'm sorry, I always fall to pieces at interviews."

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

'You don't have much of a work history, do you, Mr. Laren?'

"You say your biggest faults are working too hard and blind loyalty to your employer. What do you take me for… An idiot?"

"So, let me get this right. All the job involves is running around a track as fast as I can?"

In case of fire call yourself.

Safe harbour

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

". . .And are you a good listener?"

"Just two more outfits. . .Then I'll jump."

'It's the plumber ... '

'Lower.No,lower. A way lower. - Under the arms.Under the arms! Around his chest! OK listen...- Do you want to learn the Heimlich manoeuvre or not?!!!'

"Being unable to clearly articulate responses to questions, is a common interview mistake. . ."

You Can't Escape Zombies in a Canoe