Emergency Prep Enthusiast Pillows

'By the way, there's a seminar next weekend on how to slide down the pole.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Natural Disasters

Emergency Phone.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

Prepper Dog

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"My God, now what?"

Paramedics.

Disasters

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

Emergency Underpants

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

'Oh - It's you.'

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

Why dogs hate CPR.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"I've got a pulse!"

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

Fire Assembly Point

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

"We ran into a marathon."

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'