Emergency Preparedness Enthusiast Pillows

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

'This place only has an electric can opener?'

Man on a sinking ship blowing up an inflatable desert island.

"Better call the vet too. He's on top of the cat."

Retirement Planning. Forget a 401K plan. What your account needs is a 911 plan.

'Aaaaah' 'Helpline's busy can you hold.'

'I called the Fire Brigade but he was out on another job!'

In case you cut yourself breaking glass, break this glass.

Shrink wrap company fire alarm - 'In case of emergency break film'.

Break Glass and Pull in the Event of Flaccid Pecs

Smash through wall

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Natural Disasters

Emergency exit into Space

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"My God, now what?"

Paramedics.

Small Government Is Here

Disasters

Emergency Underpants

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

Fire Backwards.

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon