Emergency Prep Enthusiast Mugs

'By the way, there's a seminar next weekend on how to slide down the pole.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Natural Disasters

Emergency Phone.

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

Prepper Dog

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

Paramedics.

"My God, now what?"

Emergency Underpants

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

Disasters

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Fire Backwards.

'Oh - It's you.'

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

Why dogs hate CPR.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

"I've got a pulse!"

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

Fire Assembly Point

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

"We ran into a marathon."

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"