Safety-first Thinkers Pillows

'How long were you safety officer at the nuclear reactor?'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

Reasonableman

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"Here comes the super-visor."

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

Contagious Diseases.

'Never shoot straight up.'

The sound of a crackling fire licking at seasoned logs...

"Your new phone comes with this fire extinguisher. And we already added the number to the fire dept. to your contacts."

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

"Now just hold on a minute, fellers. This thing doesn't look to be very safe at all."

'He swallowed a warning label!'

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

Barber has strapped boy in barber chair with a safety belt.

'I'm on beach-patrol today: It's sunscreen in there...'

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."