Safety First Pioneer Pillows

"To play it safe, I've stopped shaking hands and hugging."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Reasonableman

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"Here comes the super-visor."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and fast.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

'Never shoot straight up.'

"I've invented the fire extinguisher."

Contagious Diseases.

Climate Change Contingency House

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

"Now just hold on a minute, fellers. This thing doesn't look to be very safe at all."

'He swallowed a warning label!'

Stun-gun target practice.

'I'm on beach-patrol today: It's sunscreen in there...'

'Never thought I'd see you again - you really must have nine lives.'

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

Barber has strapped boy in barber chair with a safety belt.

Man wearing bullet proof vest to protect himself against pool players

The second law of barbecuing. Both brilliantine & aftershave are flammable.

Fasten your seatbelts