Safety First Kind Of Person Pillows

'I'm writing you a ticket because your belt isn't buckled.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Reasonableman

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

"Here comes the super-visor."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"It's called being preemptive."

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"Fasten your seat belt."

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and fast.'

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

Drop dead gorgeous

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

Contagious Diseases.

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

'He swallowed a warning label!'

"Now just hold on a minute, fellers. This thing doesn't look to be very safe at all."

Pinocchio goes on holiday.