Safety-first Shooter Pillows

"He's not going to shoot back, is he?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Reasonableman

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"Here comes the super-visor."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"Fasten your seat belt."

"It's called being preemptive."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and fast.'

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

Contagious Diseases.

Drop dead gorgeous

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

"Now just hold on a minute, fellers. This thing doesn't look to be very safe at all."

'He swallowed a warning label!'

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."