Safety-first Romantic Pillows

Health and safety considerations require that you put rubber tips on the arrow heads and replace the unicorns tears in your love potion with inert saline.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Reasonableman

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

Dating in 2020

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"Here comes the super-visor."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

'You certainly picked your moment to propose!'

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

'He swallowed a warning label!'

"Now just hold on a minute, fellers. This thing doesn't look to be very safe at all."

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

'Never thought I'd see you again - you really must have nine lives.'

'I'm the bride's ex boyfriend. Before she says yes, can I just tell her that I've just won the lottery jackpot?!'

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

'I'm on beach-patrol today: It's sunscreen in there...'