Safety-first Romantic Pillows

Health and safety considerations require that you put rubber tips on the arrow heads and replace the unicorns tears in your love potion with inert saline.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Reasonableman

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

Dating in 2020

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"Here comes the super-visor."

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'Sure, I'm nervous. Remember OUR first date?'

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

'You certainly picked your moment to propose!'

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

"Now just hold on a minute, fellers. This thing doesn't look to be very safe at all."

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

'He swallowed a warning label!'

Barber has strapped boy in barber chair with a safety belt.

'I'm the bride's ex boyfriend. Before she says yes, can I just tell her that I've just won the lottery jackpot?!'

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."

I just don't trust those self-flying brooms yet.

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'