Comedic Safety Lover Pillows

"Yes, but then that's not a bullet, is it?"

Safety Barriers

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"Oh really, Gerald! You're removing honey from the hives, not plutonium!"

No, it does not look stupid, and yes, you are going to wear a helmet.

Athlete

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Job Safety - Lunch.

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Spawn of Satan on board.

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

Caution Falling Rocks

Car all battered at the back with a sticker in rear window - 'No baby or small person on board'.

'I'll tell you what our problem is. It's always 'do this, dummy,' or 'do that, dummy.''

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

'You can't wear that on site!....

'I think the 'Super soft safety knife' may be a H&S step too far!'

'I have no intention of depending on the government for my homeland security.'

The life of a crash-test dummy

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

Computer cables as fire ladder.

Crash-test angel

"What were his last words?"

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

Penguin in a life jacket.

'Make it look like an accident'.

'You can only come in if you've been CRB checked.'

"This accident report must be really old, unless he really was 'attacked by ye wilde boare' in the cold meats aisle."