Health-conscious Romantic Pillows

Dating in 2020

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Wall St. or True Love.

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

Coronavirus Romance

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

Recycled passion.

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'Sure, I'm nervous. Remember OUR first date?'

'Tasty.'

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"When I say I'm rich I don't just mean in Omega 3 oils."

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'You certainly picked your moment to propose!'

Exercises

'Love what you've done with your hair.'

'Did anyone ever tell you that you look lovely under the glow of these energy saver lights?'

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

Couple in bed with health charts

You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.

Proposal on a snowboard

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

Lard Lite - Marketing