Health-conscious Couple Pillows

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"We'll always have Paris..."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

Coronavirus Romance

Frankenstein's Reading Light

Dating in 2020

Flash Cuisine

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"We both love Chinese food."

'Is it organic?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

Spring.

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

Couple in bed with health charts

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

The smoking Gun

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"Mind if I shoot through?"

'I should've stayed the way I was. Now, I have to exercise, watch my cholesterol, and dodge this little pest called Cupid.'

Weight watchers