Health-conscious Couple Gifts

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"We'll always have Paris..."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

Coronavirus Romance

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

Frankenstein's Reading Light

Dating in 2020

"If you're such an expert, you cook the lobster next time."

Flash Cuisine

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

"We both love Chinese food."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'Is it organic?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

Spring.

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

Couple in bed with health charts

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

The smoking Gun

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

"Mind if I shoot through?"

"Garlic breath?"

Weight watchers