Health-conscious Duo Gifts

Couple in bed with health charts

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Mixed Doubles.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

Salt and Pepper

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

'Needs more kale.'

Moo-Magrams Exams

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Dating in 2020

PJ Parties

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'The roller coaster was great! -- How was the bungee jump?'

The smoking Gun

"But is it Organic?"

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

Mom & Dad Recipe Corner

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

'We can only offer you our basic dental plan: this dental floss and a pack of sugar-free gum.'

'Hang on a minute, the small print says: 'Endorsed by the French Government'...'

'I wonder if we're getting enough fibre?'

'No, Neville. I don't think anyone will ever open a burger bar around here. Now, finish your carrion!'

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

"Wouldn't it be easier just to go to another restaurant."