Safety-first Gym-goer Gifts

5. Install all equipment carefully. 6. Never increase the weight load of any exercise machine when you are by yourself.

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Bench Press Accident

"We're exclusively delts."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Exercising

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Exercise Bars

Reasonableman

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"Feeling stupid yet? No? Then keep going!"