Gym Safety Promoter Gifts

Bench Press Accident

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

Cricket Accidents.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

Boozing and Cruising

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part Five

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

Just Another Sloe News Day

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."