Safety First Foodie Gifts

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Kitchen Kapers

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"I'm going in."

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

"The penicillin looks good."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"I think the milk's off!"

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."