Safety First Fan Gifts

I'm not allowed to chew a stick without a mouthguard.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Reasonableman

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"Here comes the super-visor."

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and fast.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

Contagious Diseases.

'Never shoot straight up.'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

'He swallowed a warning label!'

"Now just hold on a minute, fellers. This thing doesn't look to be very safe at all."

'Stand back!...She's cleared out three local stores in the last year.'

It's 'safety first' for Gary the goat.

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."

"If we hire you, Sanders, you'll find that when it comes to security, we don't fool around."

Barber has strapped boy in barber chair with a safety belt.

'I'm on beach-patrol today: It's sunscreen in there...'

'Never thought I'd see you again - you really must have nine lives.'

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

I just don't trust those self-flying brooms yet.

"To play it safe, I've stopped shaking hands and hugging."