Safety First Advocates Gifts

'First things first, son. 'Clunk-click, every trip.'' 'Oh, yes! Stereo on, insert disc.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Getting the hang of it?"

Reasonableman

"Careful."

Cafe Burns.

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"Here comes the super-visor."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

Boozing and Cruising

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'