Safety Crusader Gifts

"Yes, but take away the rodent droppings and the occasional shard of glass, and you've still got a damn fine product."

Safety last.

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

'I'm concerned gentlemen. Very concerned!'

"We just need to cut through all the pesky government red tape."

Safety Thing.

Driver sees sign on truck: 'How's my driving while talking on the cell phone?'

"Now remember, children, if you get lost just show someone your hat, your t-shirt, your sign and your flag, and then say 'I'm from Central Elementary', just to make sure."

'Bad news - safety inspections are being cut.'

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

"Do you mind?! Didn't you notice I was on the phone?"

'I don't like being a crash test dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Cull people who open car doors without checking for traffic.

'What drink would you like with your meal?'

'We need to act! Military Assault Weapons are now being pointed in OUR direction!'

Is this what they call inherent safety?

'This is a phone poll! Are you in favor of a ban to drive and use a cell phone at the same time?'

Red faced man looking unwell whilst driving a car in bad weather with a bottle

The dangers of using a mobile whilst driving.

The Cab of Guilt - "This is your mother, reminding you that if you don't buckle up I will kill myself."

'Stick 'em up, pal - I've got a Chinese toy here, and I'm not afraid to use it!'

"There! Caught another idiot using his phone whilst driving."

Getting Jerry Browned

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Man using to much bug spray

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

On the brink.