Safecracker Enthusiast Gifts

"Three turns to the left to the second number, one turn to the right of the 4th number, 2 turns..."

'Where was the TSA?'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

CCTV in church.

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'