Safe Return From Work Gifts

Wife, watching Chilean miners rescue, cries as husband returns safely from work.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"We need a union!'

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"How do we break it to them that work-from-home ends next week?"

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

Time Out For Teddy

Hand sanitizer

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"I take it this is your first interview since the start of lockdown?"

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"First day back at work. Don't forget to get some office stationery."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

Labor Day '19

No Smoking.

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

Wear a helmet

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."