Safe Return From Work Pillows

Wife, watching Chilean miners rescue, cries as husband returns safely from work.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I'll go back to school if you go back to the office."

"We need a union!'

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

Time Out For Teddy

"How do we break it to them that work-from-home ends next week?"

Hand sanitizer

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

"First day back at work. Don't forget to get some office stationery."

"I take it this is your first interview since the start of lockdown?"

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

The Hive, Inc. Think safety! 17 days without a honey boo-boo.

Labor Day '19

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

Wear a helmet