Back From Work Gifts

Woman shooting at husband: "I missed you."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Back to work...

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

"How do we break it to them that work-from-home ends next week?"

Hand sanitizer

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"I take it this is your first interview since the start of lockdown?"

"First day back at work. Don't forget to get some office stationery."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

The Horn of Unanswered Email

'Mat leave's almost up...time for you to hunt.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

In-tray, Out-tray, While you were on holiday-tray

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."

'It's OK to take your work home with you. It's not OK to bring your home to work with you.'

"What do you think you're doing? You play with me every day for 15 months, and out of the blue, you're going to work?!"

"But first let's all congratulate Ted on his return to work."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

Working mother

'You weren't here to say no.'

"Holidays with the family... Boss, I'm so happy to be back again! May I do some unpaid extra hours please?"

Coronavirus – Keep Calm and Carry on

'The good news is, we were able to save your leg'.

"Tim hasn't felt comfortable coming back into the office but he has sent some of his thoughts."

"You're back in the office now. Leave your voodoo dolls where they belong... at home."