Return To Work Gifts

"Ah, noise, people, traffic. I missed this."

'Right... twenty squats and fifty press ups or no fit note.'

'The law requires me to tell you that we don't discriminate, gramps.'

"Bob returned to the office after the shut down and found his lucky bamboo plant had flourished."

A plant makes chaulk tallies on an office wall

"These came in while you were incarcerated."

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Back to work...

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"I'll go back to school if you go back to the office."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"How do we break it to them that work-from-home ends next week?"

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

Hand sanitizer

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"I take it this is your first interview since the start of lockdown?"

"First day back at work. Don't forget to get some office stationery."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

The Horn of Unanswered Email

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'Mat leave's almost up...time for you to hunt.'

"I left this company to pursue a cause greater than myself. I'm returning because I couldn't find one."

In-tray, Out-tray, While you were on holiday-tray

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."

'It's OK to take your work home with you. It's not OK to bring your home to work with you.'

Working mother

"But first let's all congratulate Ted on his return to work."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."