Safe-driving Skeptic Pillows

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

Safety Barriers

Safe driver.

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"Tarzan hate frivolous lawsuits."

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

Don't you think you've had too many drinks?

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

Warning: this is a safe area.

Rules and procedure

"Never mind honey, I found the garage door opener."

'Would it matter if I was on the phone reminding my daughter not to drive while talking on the phone?'

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

"I coulda been killed had this not deployed. Thank god for my passenger's side handbag!

"I don't care about the test. Put the bloody breaks on!"

"Admit it ... you were hexting while driving again."

"Any drugs or alcohol?"

'Oh it's quite a D.U.S.I.'

"Our safety manual is nothing but a big joke."

If the N.R.A. ran the D.O.T.

Seat belts - The giving of life.

'It scored first in everything except the rollover tests...'

Geezer crossing.

Acme Discount Life Vests

'When do you guys plan to invent a crash test dummy?'

'I pulled you over because you were driving suspiciously.'

"Of course it's not safe. That's why I'm here."

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"I don't think we've time for a risk-reward analysis."

'Oh, come on, they wouldn't sell it if it wasn't safe.'

Drink Driving