Safety Rule Skeptic Pillows

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Safety Barriers

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

307 days without an accident.

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Tarzan hate frivolous lawsuits."

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

I threw my back out picking up the guidelines

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

"Of course not everyone believes in all the health and safety rules....Jim here thinks it's all complete nonsense!"

Warning: this is a safe area.

Rules and procedure

Beware: Safe Area.

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

The seemingly wanton destruction of private property corp.

'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'All this 'elf and safety is taking the edge off sieges.'

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

"Never mind honey, I found the garage door opener."

Hell's first aid box...

"Then we'll just mark it 'Do not shake before using'."

'Oh it's quite a D.U.S.I.'

If the N.R.A. ran the D.O.T.

95mph fastball.

"Our safety manual is nothing but a big joke."

'It scored first in everything except the rollover tests...'

Acme Discount Life Vests

'When do you guys plan to invent a crash test dummy?'

"Of course it's not safe. That's why I'm here."

"I don't think we've time for a risk-reward analysis."

'Oh, come on, they wouldn't sell it if it wasn't safe.'