Safety Skeptics Pillows

'When do you guys plan to invent a crash test dummy?'

'How come childproof caps only manage to keep adults out?'

"I thought you measured the distance to the ground. I hope Bob's okay."

"Dear Mrs. Gravitch: Your fears are groundless. With the proper precautions, nuclear energy is clean and safe..."

'Oh it's quite a D.U.S.I.'

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Safety Barriers

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

307 days without an accident.

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

Airplane Seatbelts

"Tarzan hate frivolous lawsuits."

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

"I want the hatchlings to grow up in a nurturing comet free environment."

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

'This is the last time I bid on a job for the Seven Dwarfs.'

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

Safe harbour

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

Well...That's what happens when you text and graze!

Crash Testing Clown Car.

Warning: this is a safe area.

Rules and procedure

Beware: Safe Area.

'All this 'elf and safety is taking the edge off sieges.'

Coronavirus

"So that's unanimous Gentlemen. Seatbelts fitted on all our trains"

Juliet should have asked where for art Romeo the old fashioned way, calling from a balcony, not by texting him while he was driving.

The Death of Your Privacy.

'Of course, you're welcome to a second opinion from our HMO's insurance executive.'