S.o.s Specialists Gifts

Castaway can't remembers how to write S.O.S.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Soup of the month.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

Office Park

Oh no ... Outsourcing

Medical Examinations.

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Tartar sauce.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

Proctologists' Office Party Games

"For centuries scientists have wanted to develop a method to help ants feel like cowboys. Today that quest is at an end."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

Swimming Champion.

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

Trust Your Doctor

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

Waiting staff

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

Niche Marketing

'If a job's worth doing, the Japanese have probably already doing it..'

"I can refer you either to Dr. Basinkski, a noted specialist, Dr. Hodge-Cabot, who is a pioneer in the field, or Charlie, a generic doctor who also does a very nice job."

Antonio Carluccio.

Neither Here nor There

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

"Aw, man, that's never coming out."