Rustic Style Gifts

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"I like the marble vanity and the wall sconces, but I think the Eurostyle features on the whirlpool take away some of its simple country charm."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

The Near Outback: Lenny and Samantha

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Country life

"And how do expect to pay for this, Mr Morton?"

"My brother and I built the barn, but his son, who's an architect, helped us with the silo."

'Joe makes all our own funiture!'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

Early American Think Tank.

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

Grandparents with their grandchild

Smiley

'We like to welcome new team members with three cheers and a wet towel.'

Demand for reclaimed barn wood causes wave of new barn construction.

"No, but I did have my bathroom redone in a rustic decor."

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

Be Believable Anywhere, Anytime in these Quality Fib Overalls.

Related

Fashions From Pier 1 - The Double-Breasted Wicker Suit

'Do you have to make that slurping sound when you eat?!'

Considerate Criticism.

Designer Babies - "A little distressing and this nursery would look good." - "Are you joking, minimalism is the way to go."

"A mighty fine cabernet, Zeke!"

Backyard Chickens (hypothetical and actual).