Rural Techies Gifts

"You're hogging all the bandwidth."

Polly txt speak

Dawing your Cellphone

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

'How nice. I didn't even know they had computers in nursery schools.'

Wild West Text Showdown

Cybernetics Research Lab.

"Look, he's got his blanket. He's doing a secure search."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Man stuck on desert island with WiFi router.

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

"I'm on the range, but I'm not home on the range."

Modern Shepherding

Sorry Jerry, you've gone all muffly. Have you been shat on again?

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

"it has 256 ringtones and I can download more."

CAN'T FIND CHARGER

"Hey - it says here that humans used to have these things called 'legs'. Apparently they used these legs to 'walk' to the shops and actually buy stuff in person...!"

'I'd track the cow's production on Excel if I could turn on the computer.'

Technology and Agriculture

Texas Programmers AC Members Club: Ride the wild mainframe.

Thankyou for choosing our automated service - for venial sins, press one...'

"Let's skip the whistling. Just mail me on www.comeby.co.uk."

I'm still downloading...

Sales of Farm Equipment

I'm thinking of open-carrying. Forget it, little buddy. The last thing anyone needs is for you to be running around armed. You don't know the first thing about firearm safety. Who said anything about firearms? I'm talking about open-carrying my iPad. STOP! There's nothing more disgusting than a geek who thinks he's a technology cowboy wearing his gadgets like they're weapons. Stop the madness! What do you think, Randy: Hip holster, thigh holster, or shoulder sling? STOP!!! A real man would just

"Let's face it, no one, apart from Google, knows we're here."

Poljot watch by Yuri Gagarin

"Don't get me wrong I think these new GPS systems will revolutionise ploughing."

Free Range Wifi.

'Now we come to step 86 of how to enter your new computer logins.'

Shepherd looks at Ewe-tube.

'Where's the main office?' 'Oink, oink.'

I'm on 'vibrate'.