Rural Punster Gifts

Sick Rancher Humor

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

Beauty and the Baste

"Hallelujah!"

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'To save the state the expense of a trial, I thought I'd run off to Spain.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'Shakin' bacon.'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

Surfin' the web.

Timmy Gets Solitary.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Sorry Jerry, you've gone all muffly. Have you been shat on again?

"O.K., now can you make like a million little tiny ones?"

Pork Sausage.

Wash and Let My People Go

"I just had a horrible dream - I was wallowing in apple sauce."

"I'm not surprised you're getting fat, Eve, it's all those apples you've been eating."

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'