Runners At Heart Gifts

Death Goes For A Jog

'My feet are killing me.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Running

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"I told him he should have trained more."

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

'We're all getting older ok!' 'These days I'm down to the speed of sound!'

Man running

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

"Exercise stroller moms can sure be competitive."

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Olympic Torch Training

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

'Looks like that pheasant got into the sticker bushes.'

Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I got a little freaked out because where did the second road come from??

Sporting maladies.

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

Arabian Nights.

"Well, the only reason I'm really a wandering albatross is that I have a bad sense of direction: I get lost all the time..."

The Fun Run.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

Congratulations for male runner

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"