Runner At Heart Gifts

'Dang! Every time I've almost caught up to the bus, the driver puts out that stupid stop sign.'

Trip me.

'It's nothing serious. His endorphins haven't kicked in yet.'

'Why dine and dash? Let's just go Dutch.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Running

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"I told him he should have trained more."

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

'We're all getting older ok!' 'These days I'm down to the speed of sound!'

Man running

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

"Exercise stroller moms can sure be competitive."

'Sheep striptease'.

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Olympic Torch Training

Heavenly Gazette This Heavenly Gazette is awfully thin. There doesn't seem to be a financial section Because you can't take it with you. There's no weather forecast. It's perfect every day. I don't see any sports scores. Everybody's a winner up here. And there are no political reports. Of course not in paradise we don't hear anything about politics!

"Ladies, you know the rule about joyriding."

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

'Looks like that pheasant got into the sticker bushes.'

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I got a little freaked out because where did the second road come from??

'It's a sprained ankle again. Why are you always slipping on banana peels?'