Rules Reverend Gifts

'Library silence. Fire!'

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Night-time halo

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

Dog Crossing

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Welsh airport arrivals.

This is forever... till death do us part...

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

One way only.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."

'That's our corporate ladder.'

"Collections were down. We had to get creative."

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'