Rules Reverend Pillows

'Library silence. Fire!'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Priest's 'To do' list.

Night-time halo

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Dog Crossing

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

This is forever... till death do us part...

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

One way only.

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."

'That's our corporate ladder.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"Collections were down. We had to get creative."

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'