Right Reverend Gifts

Night-time halo

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Golfing Bishop.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Priest

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

Ten Commandments

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.