Fashion-forward Reverend Gifts

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'How come we never get invited to 'come as you are' parties?'

A woman in prayer

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

The Bland Leading the Bland

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

"A guy in 'recovery' wants to buy your slippers."

"Son of God or not, no one comes to church dressed like that."

Prosecco Drinker

"Okay, well, welcome everyone, to our first annual shareholders' webcast."

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"I want you to work late. Put on your overtime shoes."

Tonsure Toupee

Bible Weights

Look sharp, women! We're shooting video of our game. I hope it shows our huge victory! Goose! It's for seniors to send to college hockey recruiters. So? It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you look playing the game!

A Muscle checking out some shirts made for Muscles

'Why didn't you stop it?' - 'I didn't want to get my new gloves dirty.'

"You may think you look cool, but can you actually breathe properly with that stupid cap on?"

'Look at this baby, just in from Italy. You'll have to fight off the chicks, Man.'

The youth pastor and worship leader compete for the skinniest jeans award.

'Harris, now that you're in upper management, you'll need to up-grade that power tie.'

'The text for this course is available at the college bookstore and on iTunes in a choice of designer colors...avocado, sienna, peach, indigo, Mediterranean, and sunburst.'

"Maybe we should change the name of the parish to something cool, like the Protestants do and add a coffee bar."

Cort, I'm ready to be a person of faith, it's totally hip. I'm ready to get my religion on. I'm down with the divine, you know what I'm saying? I want to get inizzle with the lordizzle. I must pray now.

'My shorthand may let me down-but my long legs never do'

"He must be the new bigwig in Accounting."

"Rain, Your Holiness—may I suggest the plastic papal vestments?"

Tennis Cosmetic Surgery.

'I don't care how much they're paying you to endorse their shoes. Get rid of them!'

'My granddaughter wears combat boots, and I'm proud of it!'