Church Fashion Critic Gifts

"Son of God or not, no one comes to church dressed like that."

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."

The Pope

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"It was a little preachy."

"Well, Tarzan, after spending all your time in the jungle, could you handle working in a small cubicle? And yes, there is a dress code, so you'll have to replace that loincloth with a suit and tie."

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"I think it's the company logo."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

If Adam and Eve were Baptist.

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

"I'm not wearing that - it screams first day of school."

Tonsure Toupee

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

Only Black, Navy Blue, or Grey Suits Beyond this Point.

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

REALLY boring sermons

Martin Luther.

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

'Sorry -- that's not on our list of approved churches.'

'You won't come out with me in MY outfit when I stay in with you in THAT outfit?'

Style Consultant

"My tailor just won't accept that I've grown as a person."

"Do you have any camouflage pants? I want to hide my hips."

Church Growth

'The fad is to wear hospital staff uniforms - not patient gowns!'

Monk sleeping with wig on wigstand.

"Michael Sherlock once said: 'Religion isn't about peace, love, or the betterment of our species, it's about power and control. Religion uses fear to control and milk its flocks. Fear of God. Fear of the Devil. Fear of death. Fear of being seen as deviant for expressing non-belief. Fear of social sanctions and in some countries, fear of legal sanctions. Fear is a powerful tool to manipulate the masses and religion has mastered its employment.' ..."