Church Fashion Critic Gifts

"Son of God or not, no one comes to church dressed like that."

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."

"It was a little preachy."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

"I think it's the company logo."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

If Adam and Eve were Baptist.

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

"I'm not wearing that - it screams first day of school."

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

Tonsure Toupee

Only Black, Navy Blue, or Grey Suits Beyond this Point.

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

REALLY boring sermons

Martin Luther.

Style Consultant

'You won't come out with me in MY outfit when I stay in with you in THAT outfit?'

'Sorry -- that's not on our list of approved churches.'

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

"Do you have any camouflage pants? I want to hide my hips."

"My tailor just won't accept that I've grown as a person."

Church Growth

"Inspected by #16."

"Michael Sherlock once said: 'Religion isn't about peace, love, or the betterment of our species, it's about power and control. Religion uses fear to control and milk its flocks. Fear of God. Fear of the Devil. Fear of death. Fear of being seen as deviant for expressing non-belief. Fear of social sanctions and in some countries, fear of legal sanctions. Fear is a powerful tool to manipulate the masses and religion has mastered its employment.' ..."

"...Now will you believe me! It's too...big!"

'The fad is to wear hospital staff uniforms - not patient gowns!'