Rule-breaking Golf Aficionado Gifts

NO DOG GOLF

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Golfing Boss

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

'Don't worry, the dog's a sales manager!'

'I suggest we wait at the pub until this bird realizes that it's hatching your golf ball.'

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Money Flow increases as Tiger Woods returns to the game.

'Sorry to leave you in the lurch but this trip is important'

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"Just imagine the hold is world peace and the sand traps are nuclear Armageddon and the club is your ability to deal calmly and rationally with complex situations."

That looks like a golf ball.

You're in luck - The 5-second rule is not legally binding. Donuts.

"Who says I'm out of touch."

Golfer watches alien space ship.

"RATS! Hooked it."

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

Sand Trap.

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

"Olaf has never been the same since we raided St. Andrews."

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

'Doctor, this is not what I had in mind when you said you were going to put me on an Exercise program.'