Royalty Watchers Pillows

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS: 'They say I should conquer Switzerland.'

'I was a bank clerk, and one day I charged the King $17.50 for a bounced check.'

Princess Cristina

"...And while I was off on a Crusade, the Queen changed all the locks."

Punk rock Boris Johnson and the Queen

Duke of Yolk

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Knight Golfing

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Cord cutter

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"He's a guard dog."

'How about a game of cards?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"She wishes to range free!"

Czarcasm

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

The Frog Prince

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."