Royalty Follower Pillows

'We'll just grant each other immunity!'

"We'd prefer a beheading, but we've decided to sue you instead."

"He's retreated into nationalism."

Not what he meant.

'The King replaced me with easy listening!'

"I always wondered what the Queen's telegram would actually say."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

TV jester.

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

Czarcasm

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

The Frog Prince

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'