Royalty Lover Pillows

"Excellent, but not fit for a king."

'Sarah Palin called -- she's not interested in being your running mate.'

Queen of diamonds

Akbar the Great

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

A Royal Fart

'You idiot! -- I said to purge the voter rolls, not purge the voters!'

'I TOLD you to try diplomacy first!'

'Happy Birthday, Son! -- We got you your own Swiss bank account!'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Kings are SUPPOSED to flaunt it!'

'I just dreamed you were my Queen and I was King Henry VIII.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"Take me to your leader"

Reigning Cats and Dogs.

"Do you worry about hoarding?"

You're my Mona Lisa.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'